A friend was talking about her relationship, all of the turmoil, ups and downs, waves of happiness and pains of love. As we dived deeper and deeper into conversation, a question came to me: do we argue, fuss and fight, in order to make up?
Do we break up, just to make up? "First you love me, then you hate me...that's a game for fool's," or is it?
We tend to run from our problems instead of facing them head on. Leaving a situation won't better it, it just becomes stagnant and if and when you decide to go back it will be just as you left it, in peril.
We have to learn to fight for what we know is solid. Breaking up is just like a Tylenol; it only offers temporary relief. Will we keep leaving every meaningful relationship until we find someone who is willing to put up with us on our terms? No, love is about compromise about bending and working toward a specific goal TOGETHER, what ever that may be.
Break-ups obviously hurt, but we have to learn that in order to get something we have to give something, and in order something to be something we have to endure somethings. We can't build brick houses on sand, there has to be a strong foundation.
With that said my dears, head to the local brick yard and start mapping the layout of your dream houses!!!
Do we break up, just to make up? "First you love me, then you hate me...that's a game for fool's," or is it?
Sadly some readers are too young to know who the Stylistics are or the greatness of Al Green but, these guys are making some great points (you really should youtube these guys). All that breaking up to make up is exhausting, and unnecessary. If we love each other so completely then why put one another through so much pain and drama?
Al Green said it best, "why do people break up, turn around and make up"? Is this our sick way of bringing the spice back into troubled relationships? Or are we doing this to see how deep our partners love is for us? Surely this can't be the way we work through our problems?
We tend to run from our problems instead of facing them head on. Leaving a situation won't better it, it just becomes stagnant and if and when you decide to go back it will be just as you left it, in peril.
We have to learn to fight for what we know is solid. Breaking up is just like a Tylenol; it only offers temporary relief. Will we keep leaving every meaningful relationship until we find someone who is willing to put up with us on our terms? No, love is about compromise about bending and working toward a specific goal TOGETHER, what ever that may be.
Break-ups obviously hurt, but we have to learn that in order to get something we have to give something, and in order something to be something we have to endure somethings. We can't build brick houses on sand, there has to be a strong foundation.
With that said my dears, head to the local brick yard and start mapping the layout of your dream houses!!!
5 comments:
relationships are crazy...jus think about it...you in relationship..you care about that person...something goes wrong in the relationship..its goin south..now you are broken up.....when you break up..you learn about yourself..that will better yourself in the future..you pick different clues or something that can give you an heads up about a person...now break up to make up...its stupid..why break to make up? lol..HHOW BOUT YOU JUST DONT BREAK UP?!! cut the middle person out...you over there goin through extra steps...you get mad, you want to break up..a couple of days later..you want to make up...why break up...a bag of popcorn could have resolved all that unnecessarry willy nilly breakin up part...my thing is..if you not in a relationship....dont get in one unless you ready to be in one...moral of the day: with every action, there is a reaction..think before act...speak before you react...
Like you said, the key is to stick it out. If you think you have something worth holding on to, then fight for it. No relationship is going to come without work. and like you said, breaking up becomes a temporary fix, we have to learn to stick to something, and to stand by the ones we love even when we don't feel they are loving us in return... it definitely hurts... but as long as the good days outweigh the bad you'll know it's worth it...
This is way we need to keep God first. First you must love yourself, if you cant love yourself how do you expect for someone to love you? You are right a relationship should be built on solid foundation. Sometimes the grass looks a little greener on the other side, until he gets on the other side and realize that i have a good thang over here. Like the song says either you love me or you leave, because i dont want to continue to be a fool.
I agree with your point of view Love Goddess and with some of the comments of your guest. Bottom line up front, your relationship will be as successful as your singleness. You have to love yourself first! That is where the foundation starts. You can bring to a relationship only what you are as a person ALONE. So if your life "ALONE" is filled with drama, gossip,self pitty, unacceptance and mad craziness, the problems arise in the relationship because of all the baggage each person is bringing to it. However, once the revelation is revealed to you regarding the difference between single and being alone you will never pursue a relationship for which you are not ready. Finding out who you are as a person, in Christ and comming to terms with that person "ALONE" first is the blueprint.
WELL SAID HUN!!!! I TOTALLY AGREE!!
WE DO FIND OURSELVES BREAKING UP THEN MAKING UP... BUT I'VE LEARNED BREAKING UP THEN MAKING UP SOLVE ALOT OF PROBLEMS. COMMITTED RELATIONSHIPS TAKE ALOT OF WORK AND ENERGY WHICH ALLOWS INDIVIDUALS TO BECOME OVERWHELMED AND NEED ~~SPACE~~. DECIDING TO GIVE EACHOTHER SPACE AND "BREAKING UP TO MAKE UP" ARE TWO DIFFERENT SINEREOS! WE AS INDIVIDUALS IN COMMITTED RELATIONSHIPS NEED TO UNDERSTAND THE VALUE OF HIS/HER PARTNER AND LEARN TO ALEVIATE FRUSTRATIONS IN DIFFERENT WAYS RATHER THAN RESULTING TO "BREAKING UP 2 MAKE UP"!!!!!
~BRITAINE'
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