Friday, March 27, 2009

Falling In or Out?

I've been thinking lately about the ways in which we fall in love, how we behave, how are emotions rule us and then the ways that we begin to fall out of love with the person who we thought we were so connected with.

Is it possible to truly fall out of love with some one OR is it that we have just lost sight of the things that bonded and united us? What makes it feel like we've fallen out of love, or better yet what makes us think that we've fallen in love in the first place?

Love is a funny thing, at one point we crave it, we need it, we think it's the answer to problems of loneliness and at some points, self-loathing. It's a confidence booster, a smile maker, a heart throb and medicine when we feel Tylenol won't cure our ailing hearts.

Yet; when the tables turn and we start to feel like we are falling out of love with our "better half" we become irritable, uninterested, intolerable and flat out mean. But what warrants this change in behavior with a person who we've become so engaged with and spent so much time with this person. Is it a single action or a multitude of things? I guess the question is: what does it take to disconnect with our love?

We know that men and women are so utterly different and we often say that "we just don't understand the opposite sex" (p.s. we shouldn't even try to understand them, they've been a mystery and probably always will) but regardless of what we fail to understand we are simply people are our needs are pretty basic for the most part. We want, patience, friendship and the list goes on, but we have to be mindful that we are in relationships with another breathing, thinking person who has their own needs, opinions and ideas of what they need, want and expect from a relationship.

In saying that we are/have fallen out of love it almost sounds as if we have given up on what we thought would make us last, I don't know if that's true, maybe I'm a little far reaching but knowing that there was something that bound us to this person is enough to make us want to hold on to those feelings. It's understandable that people are ever evolving and growing and that sometimes can throw us for a loop but isn't that the inevitable? Isn't that what we know for sure is that change is a permanent facet of life?

Falling out of love maybe in fact be a natural part of life and love, but it could also be a conscious happening as well. But before we plunge into the fall which ever way it may go in or out of love, be mindful, be thoughtful and be able to place yourself in your loves shoes for a moment and hear exactly what their heart is telling you. Even if it's not what your heart wants to hear...easier said than done? Of course, but that's the way love goes