Nothing about love is easy. As a matter of fact it's a task. Don't you get tired? It's a never ending circle, an up hill race and half of the time there isn't even a prize at the end. Damn!
When I tell you that I am tired of love, I mean it no-bloody-kidding. I'm tired of giving myself away and not getting what I feel I need in return. Love seriously sucks. I've been in love with the same man for six years. Now even though we haven't consistently been in a relationship for those six years, it doesn't matter; I've always considered him to be, mine.
I love him in a way most people my age can't understand, which is both a gift and a curse all at the same damn time.
But the worst part is that, I feel handicapped. I think it's because I think too much about the way I want things to be, how I see other peoples lives and I know this is the wrong way to think but I really can't help it.
I'm at an age, where I want to see my life in motion in a certain way. I want to have a family. I'm ready to settle down and get going on building something with someone who wants to help me carry some of this baggage. I know it's a lot, and I know I have to be selective when I choose him. But hell, I really played myself and thought it was you. You're the same man who makes it a point to go out of your way to be an asshole to me and make sure that I know every negative thought that you have for me. I'm over this bullshit, both yours and mine. This has gotten to be exhausting.
It's hard stepping away from what has been my "norm" for so long and step into a real single life , not knowing what's to come. Needless to say that I've gotten comfortable in my cocoon and I'm afraid to try something new with someone else. Knowing and dealing with what is in front of you is much easier than taking a chance to allow someone else into your life.
This is my security blanket. I looked at with fresh eyes today and saw that it's ben torn to shreds and its being held together by a string. It's time to burn this blanket to the ground (along with photos and other sentimental memorabilia) I'm ready to move on.
This love has definitely taken its toll on me. He's said good bye so many times before. My heart is breaking in front of me and I have no choice, but I won't say good bye any more. (Maroon 5)
"They say love is in the air, I pray to God I do not suffer."-Lil Wayne
When I tell you that I am tired of love, I mean it no-bloody-kidding. I'm tired of giving myself away and not getting what I feel I need in return. Love seriously sucks. I've been in love with the same man for six years. Now even though we haven't consistently been in a relationship for those six years, it doesn't matter; I've always considered him to be, mine.
I love him in a way most people my age can't understand, which is both a gift and a curse all at the same damn time.
But the worst part is that, I feel handicapped. I think it's because I think too much about the way I want things to be, how I see other peoples lives and I know this is the wrong way to think but I really can't help it.
I'm at an age, where I want to see my life in motion in a certain way. I want to have a family. I'm ready to settle down and get going on building something with someone who wants to help me carry some of this baggage. I know it's a lot, and I know I have to be selective when I choose him. But hell, I really played myself and thought it was you. You're the same man who makes it a point to go out of your way to be an asshole to me and make sure that I know every negative thought that you have for me. I'm over this bullshit, both yours and mine. This has gotten to be exhausting.
It's hard stepping away from what has been my "norm" for so long and step into a real single life , not knowing what's to come. Needless to say that I've gotten comfortable in my cocoon and I'm afraid to try something new with someone else. Knowing and dealing with what is in front of you is much easier than taking a chance to allow someone else into your life.
This is my security blanket. I looked at with fresh eyes today and saw that it's ben torn to shreds and its being held together by a string. It's time to burn this blanket to the ground (along with photos and other sentimental memorabilia) I'm ready to move on.
This love has definitely taken its toll on me. He's said good bye so many times before. My heart is breaking in front of me and I have no choice, but I won't say good bye any more. (Maroon 5)
"They say love is in the air, I pray to God I do not suffer."-Lil Wayne
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