Like every other female in relationships I want to be told the "truth". I want an honest, up-front and forthcoming relationship...or at least that's what I say! So why is it that when placed in situations where we can be totally honest, we end up giving the official "re-mix" of the truth?
How much of the truth should we tell? I've heard over and over that when asking for the truth, we're really asking for something that we don't want. We (women and men) snoop through e-mails, text messages, and call logs just to see what we're secretly hoping isn't there, why? Every one has their reasons for lying in relationships, whether its because we're afraid of how our significant other could react or we're doing something that could bring our relationship to its demise. Either way...we're lying and in some cases without realizing that we are poisoning our relationship.
What most have a hard time understanding, is that when we do tell the truth, how come things don't get any better, how come we're not positively re-enforced for being honest? It almost makes you want to keep lying. Being 100% honest with a person is a hard thing to do, especially if you're afraid of how the person you love is going to respond. It's like telling someone you have herpes and hoping that they're not ready to kill you and tell everyone else...OK so maybe that's not the best example but you get my drift?!?
Honestly, I don't think that anyone REALLY wants to know the truth. I think we just tell ourselves that as a way to ease our minds. You could know a person for your whole life and one thing could change that would make you question your relationship. So even when we THINK we know the truth...we really don't. We only know what that person is allowing us to see; we know their version of the truth. Honesty isn't like walking and talking, it doesn't come natural to the masses, its something that we have to choose to do. We lie to cover up indiscretions, hide bad habits, to push our past even further behind us, to forget, and to keep from hurting the one person we truly love (because if you tell a lie long enough you start to believe it) but in the end the lies don't help, they just perpetuate the problem and make it worse.
You would think that after telling lies on top of lies we would run out of material, we would see the damage being done,but one lie just calls for another lie. And ironically we can't understand why no one believes us...
When you're in a relationship -a serious one at least- you have to trust your lover, your boo, your boy-toy, boyfriend, or husband with your emotions, thoughts and secrets (and loving them enough to be honest could help too). And in return they have to love you enough NOT to use those faults and short-comings against you. Now realistically who do you know that is capable of a love that deep, that will protect your heart after you've bruised theirs...?
And that dear friends is the honest to goodness Truth About the Truth... now, ain't that the truth!!!
2023. (Written early 2023)
1 year ago
3 comments:
Girl I understand what your are talking about. It seems as though you are wrong when you are right and right when you are wrong
This is good, Keya! Sex & the City material for sure. I like the thing you said about looking at text messages for "what you hope isn't there." Totally done it. Totally hate it. You touched on a good topic.
Witty, Wise, and Though provoking. When "they" look in your eyes, demanding the truth...you know they only want to hear what they hope is true...not necessarily the actual truth. When the truth is exposed somehow it always falls to the teller to "build" the trust back...Why are we punished for telling what they ask for ?!?
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