In recent conversations with myself (don't act like you don't talk to yourself) and others, I've come to realize that in relationships we almost always give a great deal of ourselves and as slip into love sometimes we fall out of who we are.
How is it that we come into relationships knowing full well what we will tolerate, what we can handle, what we need, what we want, what we plan on bringing to the table and most importantly we know who we are. So when exactly do we forget who we are and end up conforming for our lover?
Time after time we tell our friends and family that what we don't want in love and what we refuse to deal with but then when we find "the one" we toss all of that out of the window and become what we think they need and want. How come it's so easy to do away with who we are, and become someone else?
I understand that in relationships we all end up compromising to some extent but where do we draw the line? Who says when enough is enough? And when you change, does your partner change too? How come they don't notice that our love is so deep that we've molded into who we know they dream of?
Relationships are funny like that, they ultimately end up showing us one of two things:that we love ourselves or that we have no idea who we are. Sadly, by the time we end up seeing that we haven't a clue who we are, it's too late. Loving some one completely means giving all of yourself and being able inhale who they are as well.
In rare occasions we stumble across some one that we can relate to so many different ways that we don't realize that we have fallen in love with our better halves. We often fail to notice all the ways that a true love puts a haze over our eyes and in the blink of one, we've fallen in love with our best friend. So it's not all the time that being empty in one way, means we won't be full to the brim in another.
How empty of me...to be so full of YOU?
2023. (Written early 2023)
1 year ago
3 comments:
Amen sister!! I love this blog, it is so so true. What you said about being in a relationship, realizing "we love ourselves or that we have no idea who we are"-SUCH a good point. I know that since I've been single (almost four months now) I really have found myself and what makes me happy, and that's why I ended the nearly-four-year relationship. And now, honestly and truly, I am much happier, more driven, creative and productive, and I really love my life. SO what you're saying is true!
glass halfway empty or halfway full...im jus talk about it..the blog is true..both people in the relationship are tryin to please the other or tryin to live up to the standards of each other that it ends up clashing...relationships are something else...I was in a relationship bout a year ago..when all we did was clash...she use to get on my nerves..well after a period of time, i jus had to make a decision..so we broke up last may...I can honestly say that when i was in the relationship..i wasnt living for myself..now that ima bachelor..(hint hint ladies)..now that im single..since last may..i can say i am better off now then i was last year..and im happy and enjoying life...zdiddy
We all have high expectations for each other...thats why it takes some people Forever to find a mate! It's easy to lose yourself in a relationship b/c you take after your partner and vice versa. You get comfortable and lose all sense of "self". To me this is why it's important to still do the things that you like to do, even sometimes without your partner. don't do anything to jeopardize your relationship, but keep doing those things that define you as a person. For me personally, ever since i was able to drive.... i would to different parks w/ big lakes way out in the country by MYSELF w/ no one else around. I'd sit, listen to music, think, fish, draw, walk, etc for hours. It was MY thing and it kept me in balance w/ myself. I think everyone needs some kind of outlet...not necessarily to vent, but to do whatever needs to be done to realize.. yes, I Am in a relationship, but I'm still an individual.
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