Monday, September 15, 2008

This 1's For the Boyz

Recently a friend told me one of the most disturbing stories, I've heard in a long while and you know it's about SEX!!!

Here we are sitting in my living room having a meaningless conversation about nothing at all when she blurts out:"OMG, I just thought about the first time a guy...you know, went down on me" immediately I die of laughter, because I already know this is going to be one for the books! She continues to tell me about the "worst thing that has ever happened to her 'girlfriend' "(that's my word for the female anatomy-work with me here people). And because I'm sure that it's happened to almost every sexually active woman on earth...I decided to share it with you!

So here goes...she said that in her late teens she decided to let an eager boyfriend of the time give her some "special treatment" so she laid down, tried her hardest to relax and just enjoy. Surprisingly he had NO CLUE, as to what he was doing. He gnawed at her "girlfriend" in the worst possible way! Like she was a New York Strip and he hadn't eaten in days. It was horrible!!!

How can we help our lovers to learn to successfully please us? What do you say to encourage them, without offending them to the point where they never want to venture back into our most sensitive area? It's such a touchy subject to approach in a relationship.

Really none of us know how to please each other...we just do what we THINK we would like done to us. We all know how difficult it can be to even muster up enough courage to go "there" with someone, so it's easy to see how these conversations can be misunderstood. I think the best way to tell your partner that you like what's happening in the sack is to talk to them. But if in the rare case that you hate what's going on...be creative in your confession, make a list of your favorite places to be fondled. Be sure to keep the things you don't like off your list, so there's no confusion.

But fellas that area is sensitive on us too, it's not as tough as nails, so teeth probably aren't a good thing! You kind of have to think of it as your favorite candy, when you have your favorite candy you don't want to hurry and gobble it up, you want to savor and taste it. Take your time and play with it, because in reality, it's your toy. You have to play and spend a little time with it to figure out what makes it "tick".

Now boy's I know by now, most of you should be professionals at this, but I'm sure the lady in your life would appreciate the extra attention. I'm sure there's a way for you both to turn her New York Strip into a Fillet Mignon!!!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

In response as a guy...everybody has to learn somewhere....dude just should have done his research before he went scuba diving... Then he wouldn't be down there gnawing on it like he has laffy taffy stuck in his teeth! I Love going down on a girl, its one of my favorite things to do, but I taught myself by watching flicks and listening to people talk about it. Then I tried different things and watched girls' body language and how they reacted to certain things. I kept the good, threw out the bad and went from there! I'm not sayin I'm the greatest of all time...but I haven't had any unsatisfied customers!

As far as EMBARRASSING, I had an experience where a girl was not so fresh when I was expecting to go down there. I was in college and I was so hyped about getting her in my bed. She heard that i gave great head and told me straight up she wanted me to eat her. I agreed and I got her on my bed. I pulled off her panties and DDDDDDDAYUM! U know the smell of a dishrag that's been sitting in still water for a while? Or have you ever opened a package of lunch meat thats gone bad?? Those smelled better than dat POOCH! needless to say, I just stopped. My hard on was gone and i just sat up. I told her it wasn't her, it was me...but i know good and damn well she could smell that shyt too!!!! She started to cry, so I gave her a hug while at the same time tellin her to put her draws back on and sent her on her way....then i took my comforter off my bed. IM JUST SAYIN! If you're about to have sex, male or female, it takes 2 seconds to go to the bathroom and freshen up! They sell personal wipes at the store and everyone should invest out of common courtesy! if you know you stank, even if you're not even all that sure....WASH YOSELF!

Anonymous said...

to be honest..it is true..i guess boyz dont know how to please a lady in the right way..but a Man, like myself..already have that mindset..women are delicate..handle with care..but now if she wants me to pull hair or whatever thats her call..but its like an acquire taste..cant jus eat it..you have to look at at it...see the juices comin out..kiss, taste it..lick it..a trick that i would suggest..try and spell your whole name in cursive in the cootie coo...im not sayin ive done it..im jus sayin..lol...on that note...zdiddy signin out

Anonymous said...

I myself have never had the experience of gnawing action but I can say every guy I have been with has not had the pleasure of "tasting the fruit." I do have a crazy philosophy of who gets the chance to taste it and I won't even take the time to explain cause it is CRAZY, but with any man who is special enough to get the treat should be one that HOPEFULLY you are in a relationship with and this man should want nothing more than to please you and make you feel good. If anyone knows me at all I don't hesitate to say stop that hurt or that don't feel good in the act. No need to endure something that doesn't feel good and discuss it later... if you are there to please each other take the time during the act of love makin to inform your partner what works and what doesn't. I also know this is about pleasing a women but as I am close to plenty of guys they deserve pleasure too...so ladies pull the teeth back!!!!! P.S. The old white chick Sue Johansen(however its spelled) is a very good teacher watch it with your mate if you scared to tell the TRUTH for fear of hurting ones feeling.

Anonymous said...

everyone doesn't like everything, so be clear with your honey - in an encouraging way - and let him know what you want. likewise, ladies- be open to what HE wants. i know your old boo may have liked it in the shower or in the car or whatever, but if the man in your life wants it upside down with a spanish accent, work it out and say hey papi!

Anonymous said...

Hey Hun E,
OMG, This is soooo TRU!!!! You need to hurry up and write you a book mam.... And I think there she be a guide written to guide our men in the romance area!!! There may be some already published, but most guys that I have dated would never read one.. NE Way loved tha blog!
~Britaine'