What Does He Really Want??

As I flipped through the pages of my favorite magazine (as I often do). I read an article that claimed to know what men REALLY want in relationships.

The problem with the article was that it left too much to be determined by the reader. How can we accurately give advice about what our men want from us when we as women have no clue? The obvious truth is that we don't always know what we want either.

The reason that this writer thinks that men have such a hard time opening up to us is because we (women) have the tendency to be controlling. When men do get seriously involved they fear losing themselves in the black hole that love can sometimes be. But we have to admit that the thought of loving some one as completely as we would like can be as frightening as a car accident!

But are we afraid of losing ourselves and becoming "Empty" or are we afraid of losing freedoms that we've come accustomed to in our single lives? For the most part we over analyze things to the max, when in reality we already have clear cut ideas of what we (both men and women) want.

We should stop trying to guess what it is that our partner wants from us and instead do the obvious and ASK!

Realistically men want the basics: honesty, patience, friendship, good loving, support, space, togetherness and of course love. Or as my darling put it "men want an understanding best friend minus the nagging."

Or is old saying true, men are from Mars and women are from Venus (because all Goddesses hail from there), or are we really making molehills into mountains?

Well what are you waiting for? Go ask him!

Empty

In recent conversations with myself (don't act like you don't talk to yourself) and others, I've come to realize that in relationships we almost always give a great deal of ourselves and as slip into love sometimes we fall out of who we are.

How is it that we come into relationships knowing full well what we will tolerate, what we can handle, what we need, what we want, what we plan on bringing to the table and most importantly we know who we are. So when exactly do we forget who we are and end up conforming for our lover?

Time after time we tell our friends and family that what we don't want in love and what we refuse to deal with but then when we find "the one" we toss all of that out of the window and become what we think they need and want. How come it's so easy to do away with who we are, and become someone else?

I understand that in relationships we all end up compromising to some extent but where do we draw the line? Who says when enough is enough? And when you change, does your partner change too? How come they don't notice that our love is so deep that we've molded into who we know they dream of?

Relationships are funny like that, they ultimately end up showing us one of two things:that we love ourselves or that we have no idea who we are. Sadly, by the time we end up seeing that we haven't a clue who we are, it's too late. Loving some one completely means giving all of yourself and being able inhale who they are as well.

In rare occasions we stumble across some one that we can relate to so many different ways that we don't realize that we have fallen in love with our better halves. We often fail to notice all the ways that a true love puts a haze over our eyes and in the blink of one, we've fallen in love with our best friend. So it's not all the time that being empty in one way, means we won't be full to the brim in another.

How empty of me...to be so full of YOU?