Daisy of Love???

So the other day I was flipping through the channels and of course there was nothing on t.v. so I ended up settling on VH1's "Daisy of Love." I know this is not my normal kind of blog but I can't help myself.


After the show "Flavor of Love" we've become addicted to watching these inevitable train wrecks that are sad excuses for quality t.v. shows, and sadly "Daisy of Love" is no different.

In the past 5 or 6 years VH1 has lost their minds and so have we, but at least there were decent actors who could remotely fool us into thinking that they liked, and could potentially love Flavor Flav, Bret Michael's, New York and Real and Chance, but Daisy is the worst of them all. As I watched I saw her go into a fit because one of her guys decided he wanted to go home, yet; with all the plastic surgery she's had done to her face instead of looking like a human being crying she looked like a frightened wildebeest. I hate to be so harsh but man...I was a little scared.

What's even more disturbing is that her cry was completely unconvincing. These are clearly semi-scripted shows, with very little reality involved and some of the worst "actors" the country has to offer.

It saddens me to see that we have no problem watching other peoples love lives or lack there of like it and even more so to know that there is nothing else on t.v. that will keep us entertained. This show shouldn't be called "Daisy of Love" but instead Rotten Flower of a Joke.

Better to have Loved....?

Lately I've been hearing people say "it's better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all," but is that really true? Is it better to have gotten involved with some one, become emotionally attached to them, comfortable with them and love them only to watch it fall apart?

Honestly; I'm torn. I'm a firm believer in love and all that it comes with, except when I think about how the pains of a love gone wrong are or can be too much to bear. I begin to think that it's not worth it at all. In relationships we give all we have (if you're like me you do) putting your everything into some one else's happiness and then when the relationship goes sour we're left with a void in our hearts the size of the Grand Canyon!

What are we supposed to do then? I'm learning that love is a fleeting feeling that we can only hope to hold on to. Strangely enough when we're in love we have blinders on and can only see what our hearts tell us to, nothing more or less. Only taking notice of the things that make us happy in the relationship and loving being able to make our men (or women) happy. Love makes us see through rose colored lenses, but when it's over and done should we be happy to have had to experience or angry that we got so involved?

Loving, (the right way) makes us feel like we're floating, it's a high that we get addicted to like crack coursing through our veins. We depend on our boyfriend or girlfriend to supply us with something without a face or a name, but something only they can unleash. And when its gone we go through the same levels of with drawl as recovering addicts.

I think as humans we are all looking for love in some form or another. Searching for the one thing within someone else that makes us feel complete, special, desirable and of course loved. But I'm sure that the dreaded fall from "cloud 9" is something we can all do with out.

They say hind sight is 20/20, and I believe in that 100%. I can't say whether or not I think its better to have loved and known of those feelings, than to go a life time in search of them. Love puts us in a drug induced trance, and all we're guilty of is constantly chasing the high..."It's funny when you're coming in first, but you hope that it lasts" think about it.

It's a Thin Line

When people say it's a "thin line between love and hate" they may as well have said that there's an invisible line that's crossed and once it's crossed it feel like you took an Olympic sized leap to get there.

Why is that love and hate go hand in hand? What makes us love so hard and deep and then when the tables turn what morphs that love into a seething, rooted, blood-boiling hatred for our used to be lover?

Love is a funny thing, we know that it's supposed to be patient, kind and all that but when does it go from that cloud 9 feeling to mean and spitefulness that seem to take you to the pits of hades (sorry to be so dramatic) but that's how it feels sometimes, right? I guess what I'm trying to ask is why love morphs into its complete opposite without any apparent warning and why is the feeling so intense?

How are we supposed to handle this? Do we remain calm, not do anything, ignoring the problem and feeling in hopes that things will just vanish? Or do we pull a "Jazmin Sullivan" and bust the windows out of their car? Now readers I'm not advising anyone to do anything stupid like actually busting the windows out of some one's car -you will go to jail for that- but we've all heard the song and at times it seems like the right/easiest thing to do.

Love and hate automatically bring out the best and worst in us. Forcing us to go from blissful feelings to being insensitive, uncaring, and down right hurtful. But if ever at any point we loved that person in any way, shape or form, we shouldn't want to hurt them or see them suffer, that's simply our own inner pain, guilt or anger manifesting into life. Isn't it something to realize that in most cases love doesn't rule us the way we think it does, but instead that the anger festering deep within us is what drives us when things don't go our way.

Things we never thought we'd do, say or thought would/could happen to us occur, and we allow them to make us different people. To hurt the ones we know love us and visa versa.

So to say that it's a "thin line between love and hate" almost seems like an understatement. It should really say there's NO line between love and hate, the two happily co-exist until our paths differ and we veer off into the left lane...don't get it? Marinate on it for a while at 350 degrees and if you still come up with nothing leave a comment and let me know so we can talk about it.

Falling In or Out?

I've been thinking lately about the ways in which we fall in love, how we behave, how are emotions rule us and then the ways that we begin to fall out of love with the person who we thought we were so connected with.

Is it possible to truly fall out of love with some one OR is it that we have just lost sight of the things that bonded and united us? What makes it feel like we've fallen out of love, or better yet what makes us think that we've fallen in love in the first place?

Love is a funny thing, at one point we crave it, we need it, we think it's the answer to problems of loneliness and at some points, self-loathing. It's a confidence booster, a smile maker, a heart throb and medicine when we feel Tylenol won't cure our ailing hearts.

Yet; when the tables turn and we start to feel like we are falling out of love with our "better half" we become irritable, uninterested, intolerable and flat out mean. But what warrants this change in behavior with a person who we've become so engaged with and spent so much time with this person. Is it a single action or a multitude of things? I guess the question is: what does it take to disconnect with our love?

We know that men and women are so utterly different and we often say that "we just don't understand the opposite sex" (p.s. we shouldn't even try to understand them, they've been a mystery and probably always will) but regardless of what we fail to understand we are simply people are our needs are pretty basic for the most part. We want, patience, friendship and the list goes on, but we have to be mindful that we are in relationships with another breathing, thinking person who has their own needs, opinions and ideas of what they need, want and expect from a relationship.

In saying that we are/have fallen out of love it almost sounds as if we have given up on what we thought would make us last, I don't know if that's true, maybe I'm a little far reaching but knowing that there was something that bound us to this person is enough to make us want to hold on to those feelings. It's understandable that people are ever evolving and growing and that sometimes can throw us for a loop but isn't that the inevitable? Isn't that what we know for sure is that change is a permanent facet of life?

Falling out of love maybe in fact be a natural part of life and love, but it could also be a conscious happening as well. But before we plunge into the fall which ever way it may go in or out of love, be mindful, be thoughtful and be able to place yourself in your loves shoes for a moment and hear exactly what their heart is telling you. Even if it's not what your heart wants to hear...easier said than done? Of course, but that's the way love goes

My Funny Valentine

A friend of mine decided to share his Valentine's Day Experience with me, and in doing so he gave me, the laugh and motivation, so desperately needed to write this.


Here we go:


He called me and told me that his girlfriend who his is usually having problems with surprised him for the evening with a basket of goodies, in which he described as being like an Easter Basket but the kind you can buy off the side of the road; and a home cooked meal...in the buff!


Now as any one can guess, this is practically every man's fantasy: food and a naked woman! Well as she began to undress, he says that her facial expressions turned from excitement and lust to disdain and discomfort. So being the "gentleman" he is, he offered to cook the meal himself. Upon doing so, his valentine began to cry, and for the life of him he couldn't understand why. Here he is thinking that he was about to get a special treat from the woman that he loves and now that he's the one giving himself the treat she has the nerve to cry?!


Clearly my friend is confused, as he should be. But are we as women just playing the role? Meaning are we pretending like something is wrong when it really isn't just to get some attention? And if this is the case, men why aren't you taking notice to our attention hoarding?

We all know that both sexes are unpredictable and unstable. So in essence neither her behavior or his response shouldn't have been a surprise, but then again, she did take advantage of the situation. By pushing him to the limit and making him feel like he's the one who does the most, always compromises and is the only one apologizing, it would bring anyone to a breaking point.

This time I won't leave you with my thoughts on this particular issue, however; a question. Ladies what do you think is going on with her and how do you feel about his reaction?