Over-estimated, Under-rated

Ok so the more I read "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man," by Steve Harvey, the more I feel like I have always (kinda sorta) understood the male species. As I continue to turn pages I realize how simple their needs are and how easy it could be to please both them and myself.

Ladies it dawned on me as I flipped through the pages that our problem is not that we don't understand the men in our lives or the men that we would like to be in our lives, but instead two things: we over analyze/complicate things and we under estimate the value of our own common sense.

First we make things too complex by thinking that men think the same way we do. They don't. Plain and simple, their thought process is much less complicated than ours. We find ways to make things difficult.

We (women) need to get to the point, be direct without being rough. For example if you like a man to be prompt and call when he says he's going to, you could say "I put forth the effort to do what I say, so if I say I'll be there at 7pm then I do whatever it takes to be there on time if not earlier." Instead of saying "I hate waiting on people," Get it!?

If you're laughing it's because you're guilty of being harshly blunt. I know this is something I have done myself, so I can't pass any judgements. Everything is easier to digest when its dipped in sugar. Its just like when you're getting ready to go out with friends and one of them has on an outfit that isn't flattering on her frame, you don't say "you look a mess" but instead you say "do you have a shirt that looks like..." its all about finesse!

We constantly say how we just want these men to be upfront with us, but a lot of the time we're not upfront with them....not the way we expect them to be with us. If we want them to do something we expect them to just know what we need, but DUH! They aren't mind readers they don't know unless we tell them.

I have come to realize two things that we teach people how to treat us and that men will be what we tell them we think they are. If you begin a relationship and your significant other is mean and talks down to you then that's how they will always talk to you, until you decide to check their behavior. If you are constantly telling someone that they are a liar, then that's the role they'll play; since you already think they're lying they will. Sad but true.

Wrap your mind around this and let me know what you think...I'll be waiting!

"Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man"

So I've started reading the New York Times Bestseller, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by King of Comedy comedian Steve Harvey; and it's really a trip. I must admit that Steve has given me a few interesting things to think about and of course to blog about.

There's a chapter in the book called "The Three P's: Profess, Protect and Provide" allow to me explain (briefly). Steve said that real men who really love you will do the following, Profess what you are to them, protect you and provide for you.

After reading this I can say that things are making a little more sense than they did before. If a man loves you and your important to him then he will make sure to introduce you with a title and he'll make sure that everyone one who is important to him knows that you're his girl, boo, baby mama or friend. He goes on to say that if he introduces you as his friend that make no mistakes about it, you are nothing more than just his friend and more than likely you won't advance in his world.

Obviously we (women) expect our men to protect us, keep us safe from hurt or harm or danger, in other words we expect them to be faster than a speeding bullet, beat up the bad guys, hold our hands when we're scared and cuddle up with us at night to be our teddy bear. But how can we expect him to take care of us when we fail to see that he may have fears of his own, are we willing to be the same super hero that we expect them to be?

Lastly Harvey talks about the mans need to be the provider and be acknowledged by his lady for doing so. A real man won't give you the change after he's gone on a shopping spree, but instead make sure that he has all the bills paid, food in the house, gas in the car clothes on every one's back and then he'll use whatever is left to treat you and himself. (good point)

There are too many men shying away from their responsibility and we as women are letting them. We make excuses for them and they make excuses for themselves, it gets old and tiring relatively fast. Where are all the real men in the world? And why do we have to hunt so hard to find you? Come out of hiding and claim some of these real women, who are willing to be Wonder Woman to you, to stand beside you and love on you something serious.

"If you have a man who is willing to do these three things for you, trust me, he's all in."