Far Away

Before I saw the video for Marsha Ambrosious' song "Far Away" it held a very different meaning for me. The video depicts two gay men and the loss that is felt after one dies from suicide. But for me the song made me think of a love lost.

I think of how great love can be at first but begin to wither as time and circumstance come into play. I wonder how we end up staying in relationships that are wrong but with the right person? Ever think about that? How is it that we love someone and in the beginning they seem so right for us but after time and a few bad arguments and situations we realize we need to leave but can't?

A friend told me the other day that some times we're so damages and dysfunctional that we can't be in a functional relationship. Is that true? Can we be so ruined by a love so deep that we are unable to participate in a positive and healthy relationship?

I hate when people say "the heart wants what the heart wants." DUH!! Our hearts speak to us from a place of solitude and sincerity. So of course it has the ability to convince our minds that its desires are genuine, true and logical but that's not always the case.

Loving in any capacity has taken its toll on me, the person I am and who I desire to be...I think I need a time out!