Force of Nature

Letting go is the hardest part of having a relationship. Moving on and forward can some times seem impossible, especially when you weren't the one ready to put an end to things in the first place.

How come no one tells us that love is all good until its time to come down from the high it gives?

We have our lives planned, and think that we will find some one, they'll sweep us off our feet, we'll get married and ride off into the sunset together. And when things don't work like that it almost puts us in a catatonic trance, a coma if you will.

Why is it that we keep ourselves from feeling what we need to feel, in order to move on? Why do our friends try to take our minds off of the emotions that we need to feel that are apart of the "grieving" process; because that's what a break up is-the death of one part of our lives-isn't it? What's wrong with being just a little sad for a little while?

Sometimes love seems timeless and all I can do think of how this person has changed my life, how he has showed me how incredibly strong, overwhelmingly vulnerable I am and how loyal my love can be. I catch my self having to defend my feelings to friends and family which seems dumb. It is. I am a grown woman and I feel sorry for any other woman who has not had the opportunity to love this deep, to this magnitude, with this much sincerity.

I wish I knew what it was that kept my mind constantly on him, even when I'm not in the wrong, when I'm innocent, and things are just flat out bad...I love him. Even though I don't know what he's thinking, or doing, I still catch my thoughts running off track, and him running on the same one. His aura has some type of pull on me. Maybe what I am feeling is unnatural, because when you think about it, I mean REALLY think about it, the love I feel is bordering un-healthy. I would do anything for him, he is my friend, and at this point I could careless that people will judge what I'm feeling and how I choose to express my feelings but oh well! No matter what anyone says I refuse to believe that he doesn't think of me like I think of him...

This man is a force of nature, nothing to be reckoned with. Loving him is a typhoon- a total disaster- but a beautiful one. I love this man...and I can't stop....he's like a force of nature

Pretty Wings

Life for me is changing so much lately, as many thoughts and ideas cross my mind I realize that love is a lot like "Redbull" (yes, the energy drink) it gives us wings. But what those colorful commercials fail to show us is how those wings seem to wear off when love is fading fast. As you all know I'm a music lover, and lately I've been listening to the new Maxwell single "Pretty Wings" and every word of this song reigns true to the effects of love and love lost.

If hind sight is 20/20, and love is a fleeting feeling, then where does that leave us, who does that make us?

Maxwell says "I had to set you free, a way for me to see clearly, the way that love can be when you are not with me, I had to leave...if I can't have you, let love set you free to fly your pretty wings around."

We often take lovers and relationships for granted thinking that they'll be there, waiting in the wings until we need them. We tell each other how our love is unconditional and steadfast. But in all honestly how many of us really mean this or even know what it is to love at this level? Very few. We forgive when its convenient, we love when the we feel like it and give up when the going gets tough.

But what happens when our love is morphed into something we no longer recognize, and we begin to dislike the person we've become?

Things happen in relationships that we aren't proud of, that we wish we could take back in an instant, we lie, we hurt each other in ways that some one we call a friend would be incapable of, we cuddle with and tell each other how much we love each other and then in a moment we treat each other worse than we would treat a stranger.

Someone told me about something called an 80/20 rule...that you shouldn't leave some one who is giving you 80% of themselves for someone who will only give you 2o%. In that case I suppose no one ever REALLY gives 100% of themselves.

"I came wrong, you were right, transformed your love into light, baby believe me I'm sorry I told you lies...I should have showed you better nights, better times, better days...I miss you more and more."

I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes we need to take a step back to re-evaluate the situation/relationship in order to take a step forward. Think about that...