The Green-eyed Monster

As women we are subject to totally different kinds of pressures than men, so ladies why is it that we are SO petty, hateful, jealous and down right cruel? How come we have such hard times being happy for each other? Why are we so spiteful?

As readership grows more and more ladies come with various topics they would like to be discussed, this being one of them, what is our problem with seeing each other happy? Clearly we know that misery LOVES company and that should be no secret, but why does it bother us so badly to see our sister-friends doing well.

Women are the most catty people, for instance if we see a nice looking man who appears to have it together we want him, but the second we see a woman come to his side we have to tear her to shreds with criticism. Could it be that we're not looking to criticize her but our own shortcomings? And why can't she be happy and enjoy a relationship? Further more, how come we have to go after what does NOT belong to us? If a man tells you, or you find out that he's in a relationship, that should be it, back away and walk off. But instead we flirt, finagle and finesse our way into his good graces and when he refuses to leave his girl, we (as in you) have the nerve to get mad and want to tell. We'll never reach any kind of happiness this way, how can we want/expect for some one to respect our relationship when we won't do the same?

This pettiness isn't limited to the lack of respect for relationships but in friendships as well, we forget that it's a two-way street. Loyalty is important, but yet again we find ways to cut ties in order to sever a friendship, over virtually nothing. We may not even need a reason other than, she didn't speak to me. Now over time it's understandable where the problem is but to be upset over something like this happening once...get real; but several times, now we have a valid argument! We argue over boys, we fight over clothes and will scratch and claw each other to the ground for what we want or THINK is ours.

Any kind of "friends" that we have would not take us on emotional-rollercoasters on the daily, real friends want to see us succeding, happy and loved.

Realistically this is our problem: we want respect but refuse to give it, we want what we can't have just because we can't have it and we hurt each other because we're really the ones hurting. If we took the time to evaluate our own lives and circumstances, the issue wouldn't be worth the drama.

It's human nature to want what we can't have, but we shouldn't take it from each other to appease our own insatiable appetites.

Marinate on this: "When I look at you, I see myself. If my eyes are unable to see you as my sister, it is because my own vision is blurred. And if that be so, then it is I who need you either because I do not understand who you are, my Sister, or because I need you to help me Understand who I am." Lillian P. Benbow

Just like Candy

Has anyone else noticed that we compare love and relationships to sweets. Hence, the songs Candy Rain by Soul For Real and Candy by Cameo. What about love makes us think of something sweet and tasty?

"It's like candy, I can feel it when you walk, even when you talk, it takes over me...I wanna know can you feel it too, the way I do. The stuff is starting now, its the same feeling, I always seem to get around you." This is the way love is supposed to feel. It's supposed to make us feel intoxicated, full and overwhelmed with affection and emotion.

In love do you ever dream of, candy coated rain drops? Don't laugh, this is serious! When we think of love, isn't this the way we think? We think of bouquets of flowers, hugs and kisses (the chocolate one's too), teddy bears, holding hands and all the other mushy stuff that we want boxed up with our love.

Yet; some where in between work and school, family, friends and our own selfishness we loose these warm fuzzies that we had when our love began. Whether it be from petty misunderstandings to blow-out arguments, the fun that we shared in love begins to fade and we become serious, defensive and annoyed with each other, and sadly that love gets buried underneath it all.

Think about it, we give so much of ourselves, if our lovers asked for the moon, wouldn't we make a call to NASA? Be honest with yourself for a minute...we would. If we truly love the way we think we do, why aren't we dreaming of candy coated rain drops, we say that we never thought we'd find that perfect person, but when their in our grasp, we let go, instead of fighting for what our heart says is right.

Candy rain sounds so nice (I know its corny), if it rained chocolate kisses we'd all be happy campers. "My love, do you ever dream of, candy coated raindrops? You're the same, you're my candy rain."

Keepin It On the LOW

Recently I happened upon a situation that I felt needed to be addressed. This is a touchy subject so put your heart on the shelf momentarily. More and more our society is less critical and judgemental than before, so why is it that men still feel the need to hide their true sexuality from women, from people in general?

HIV/AIDS has bought a brand new pair of Nike's and is running rapid among our generation. This is a big deal! Men if you're homosexual it can be understood that it may be embarrassing to confess such a personal thing, but those who love you, I mean really love you will be able to accept you. The fact of the matter is that if we are saying we love someone we have to love them enough to understand that people are just that, people. We fall short of expectations all the time.

For those who are unfamiliar with the term "down low" its a word used to describe men who by day lead a heterosexual life, and behind closed doors have sexual relationships with men. Men doing this (not to say women aren't doing the same) are putting their loved ones at risk. If you love the woman you're with you owe it to her to give her a choice in the matter.

How is it that we've come to such a point that we think its better to hurt someone rather than protect them. AIDS is no laughing matter and shedding some light on the issue is a must. More AIDS cases are contracted through anal-sex than any other sexual contact, because of tears around the anus.

This isn't meant to be derogatory toward anyone, but a slap in the face, to hopefully make us wake up and see that we are destroying ourselves.

He Thinks I'm Sexy When...?

We wake up in the morning smelly breath, slobber running down the side of our cheeks with ugly sleep grimaces plastered on our faces (or is this just me?) We all know that everyday isn't a good day as far as looks go, but when exactly does who we are turn into the most appealing quality we have?

An article in Glamour magazine, by Genevieve Fields explains when our men think we're the sexiest. The most popular response is of course eye contact and a smile. But women we should have this down pact by now. We know that making a little eye contact is all you need to get his attention from across the room.

Second she says they find us attractive when we use our signature girly body language. Duh! We know what that is, flinging our hair, batting our eyes (but please try not to do this in excess, we don't want him thinking you have a twitch), arching your back toward him, the old "LL Cool J" lip-lick and smelling like heaven helps too.

Next, is something that a lot of women may be surprised to find out...real men, like real women. Women with curves, hips and a healthy appetite. So eat up ladies, quit ordering the salad when you go out to eat and get some meat on your plate (well except if your a vegan...Boca meat also works). Either way it goes just eat for goodness sake!

This one shouldn't be a surprise at all, it's hormonal. Man can sense when we are ovulating, our skin sends our pheromones that tell seem to drive them crazy. In case you don't know, we ovulate two weeks prior to our cycles.

And lastly, its a given, he finds you the sexiest when you're the one woman that he loves.

Happy Obama Day

Thank you for voting, for making a change in the world, for exercising your right and privilege. Yesterday we made history, today we see it through...HAPPY OBAMA DAY!!!